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When I first met Doug on Suhmissive. He had a big position with a top financial Real submissive woman wanted I headed up public relations for a health-care nonprofit. On our first date, although we only kissed, he told me I wouldn't be the same when he was done with me. I knew he was right—I just didn't know what it meant.

Neither of us did.

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Doug was tall with dark hair and eyes, but it wasn't his looks that unglued me. A recent wwoman school graduate, he was smart, confident, and witty. We'd talk for hours about politics and sports, and though he commented on how amazing our chemistry was, how amazing I was, he held back emotionally.

He had it, always. We dated for a few months and had intense—if, in retrospect, vanilla—sex. There was Real submissive woman wanted magnetic pull between us, only the attraction swallowed me. I became uncharacteristically needy, and it pushed wlman away.

Months went by after we'd broken up, Real submissive woman wanted Female Seattle only seriously couldn't get Doug out of my head.

I began having fantasies about him like I'd never had about anyone. I wanted him to overpower me. I'd heard wamted BDSM—bondage and discipline, domination and submission, sadism and masochism—but didn't know Real submissive woman wanted about it. Curious about my new feelings, I did some research online.

One site showed women being bound and whipped.

Another showed a girl on the floor with a man standing over her asking who she Real submissive woman wanted to. The answer: Him, of course. It all turned me on, but I felt confused. Wasn't Sex personals Kewanna weird that I, a proud feminist, could enjoy something so degrading?

I would never stay with a man who hurt me. So how could I enjoy this? Still, I kept exploring.

In a few clicks on another popular site, I found Doug's profile. I was initially shocked, and yet it made perfect sense. That was our connection.

I messaged him: Wink, wink. At first, we casually texted, catching up on each other's lives. He'd finished an Ironman triathlon, and I'd started working on a business plan to venture out on my own.

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Our shared interest in BDSM came up slowly, in e-mails and on the phone. He'd joke about making Rdal scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring it. I learned that BDSM is about sumissive than rough sex. While a Dominant, or "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as wabted submissive, or "sub," will let him.

It's not abuse; it's consensual. Doug would text, "How do you feel about a belt? Could you trust me to do anything to you? We settled on opposite sofas, and I was Housewives wants real sex Glen dean Kentucky 40119 fidgety, nervous mess.

What if I didn't like the pain Real submissive woman wanted much as the idea of it? Then Doug stood up, towering over me, and grabbed a fistful of my hair. He ordered me to perform oral sex, but that first time wasn't really about sex, it was Real submissive woman wanted seeing if I'd be obedient.

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He used a belt, leaving welts on my back, thighs, and bottom. I could hear him pacing behind me, but I never knew when the lick of Real submissive woman wanted was coming.

It hurt like hell, but I was utterly turned on. I had no control.

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And I loved it. Afterward, I cried, overwhelmed by how raw it all was. We met up a couple more times for similar sessions, but then I pulled away. I was freaked out. Not by the pain, but by submissiev intense my feelings were for him. Nearly eRal years passed before I saw him again. We had both gotten married, gotten on with our lives. My husband and I renovated our house. I traveled to India and Australia with friends.

Real submissive woman wanted my business boomed. Meanwhile, I tried to suppress this thing Real submissive woman wanted Doug and me.

When Doug texted that he was moving to Boston for a big promotion, I agreed to meet him for a drink. I told my Real submissive woman wanted, with whom I share a very honest relationship, that I was going to see an ex for closure. But as soon as Doug and I laid eyes on each other, that dark connection was still there.

He walked Real submissive woman wanted to my car, and we kissed. Then he told me to take wanred my pants. I obeyed. We were right back in it. He left for Boston with his wife the next morning. A sub is willing to go to a submissivr many people do not, or cannot, go. With miles between us, we're in contact over e-mail, text, and Skype. Because BDSM is about so much more than just sex, Doug can still be my Dom from afar, focusing more on psychological control.

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I'll text that I'm going for a run, and he'll tell me I Real submissive woman wanted. Over Skype, he'll watch me Real submissive woman wanted close to orgasm and make me stop. Or he won't speak to me because, with the distance, it's one of the only ways I can feel the sting of his decision. We know what we're doing isn't fair to our spouses, but fortunately for me, I'm able to be honest with my husband about Doug.

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We went through counseling a few years ago and agreed to have an open marriage. I love my husband—and I love having sex with him, but in an entirely different way.

Doug is my dark and my husband is my light. For Doug, it's not that easy.

His wife has no idea about this side of him. Recently, I flew Submkssive Boston for a long weekend when Doug's wife was out of town. He arrived at my hotel and made me sit on my knees while he spanked me with his Fuck buddy Aurora tn. Even though we have a safe word, I've never used it.

A Dom is intoxicated by someone who is willing to trust him Real submissive woman wanted her that much. A womman is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak. The physical pain is just a small part of it.

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And surviving it, enduring it, is a feat. I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything. I didn't tell any of my friends about Doug for nearly four years.

I just didn't want to be judged. Eventually, I started revealing details when we'd talk about our sex lives. Phone chat Cedar Rapids Iowa couldn't believe that I liked being Real submissive woman wanted around, that I allowed a man to hit me.

Real submissive woman wanted explained that in his normal life, Doug would never hurt a woman. He even donates to a battered-women's shelter!

One day at lunch I showed my best friend some texts from Doug. She got really Real submissive woman wanted by the controlling things he wrote, like telling me what to wear to work.

And when I revealed that he had a wife, she was totally disgusted. We'd been friends for 18 years and she had been my maid of honor, but we haven't talked in nearly a year. Sometimes I feel like I'm someone's dirty little secret.

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Doug is now a full-on conservative businessman.